Second Story review

Here's a new review of Second Story: Seeing what's not being said.  Thanks to Ted Gossard who read the book and took the time to review it on his blog!

Kindle version available!

The Kindle version of Second Story: seeing what's not being said is now available.  You can order your copy here.

More information about the book is available here.

Second Story is Now Available!

You can buy Second Story at either Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

It's unreal, but exciting.  I've been busy sending out copies and doing marketing.  I'll get back to blogging soon.

Rest

Rest is not something I do well.  I don't know if it goes back to the modeling of my parents, my own personality, or my sometimes desire to escape the difficult things in life, but I work a lot.  A lot.

With the submission of the book to the printer, I suddenly found that a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I left as quickly as I could to go back to that place where God met me 2 years ago through the story Till we Have Faces.  This time, my only job was to rest.  With tears in my eyes, I gave myself permission to just be.

And rest, I did.  There is something special about that place.  Perhaps it is the prayers that, for 25 years, have been lifted up for all those who would come.  Perhaps it is the willingness of those who come to put aside everything for a moment to listen for the voice of God.

I was able to think and pray through some important things.  I was able to again pray that God would take the book wherever and to whomever he wants it to go.  I was able to pray about my future and the things that I am holding deeply within my heart.

I also read through my journal for the past year.  Wow.  The journey that the book has taken to get where it is is something that I cannot even describe.  After years of preparation, the first draft took just a month and a half to get on paper.  July 7 was the day I really started writing.  My community has gone through some intense suffering too--lightning strike, sickness, car accidents, death of those close to us.  There were times when we all felt a little like Frodo, trying just to get the ring to where it was supposed to go.  So many times, I did not know how I was going to make it another day, or take just one more step on the journey. That we made it is a testament to how God has been with us.

Chapter 1 - Third Installment

At work the next day, Alex could think of nothing but Annie.  He was at a loss to explain to her why this was so important to him.  He’d tried everything he knew.  But things just hadn’t been the same since his accident. 
    He stood at the café counter, waiting for customers.  Alex remembered back to the days when their relationship had been all laughter and fun.  Annie was that kind of girl.  Her crazy, curly brown hair and her sparkling green eyes seemed to advertise her zany, bubbly personality.  She was the life of the party, and together they were always cracking each other up.  She was beautiful.  She was fun.  She was perfect for him, or had been.  But his month in the hospital had sobered him a little, and Annie just didn’t understand. 
    He loved that she wanted to start a snowball fight or play a game of chase through the snow.  At least, he used to.  But it seemed now like there were so many more important things to think about.  Every day, people were dying without knowing Jesus.  How could he just stand by and let that happen?  It was just too important.  It was time for them to take life a little more seriously.
    He’d tried to explain to her that their old dreams of living for their own family and their own comfort was no longer enough for him.  But she simply didn’t seem to want to hear about the inward journey he’d been taking.  She’d never seemed to want to hear about what he felt God was showing him.  She’d always told him to “stop being so morbid” whenever he tried to bring things up in the hospital.  And now, it seemed like all they ever did was fight.  This was not good.  Not good at all.
    “Can I help you ma’am?” Alex asked without even looking up.  But then he heard a familiar voice, “Alex.  How are you?”
    “Oh, hi Sara!”  He gave a small smile.  “It’s been a while.  How are you doing?”
     “Fine, fine, Alex.  But you look a little worried, honey.  What’s on your mind?”
    “How long do you have?”
    “Why, all the time in the world.  I’ll just get a cup of coffee and one of those whole wheat bagels, and I’ll be sitting right over there in the corner.”  Sara pointed to the table on the far side of the café area, right next to the stack of mystery books.  “You just come on over whenever you have a minute, and I’d be happy to listen to anything you have to say.”
    Alex handed her the coffee and the bagel and caught her eye.  Her warm brown eyes arrested his attention, and her angular face softened as she smiled.  Her whole demeanor was open and welcoming as she gave him a knowing glance.  Then she turned to take her food to her table.  Alex stared after her, barely seeing her long jean skirt and wool sweater.  As she made her way to her table, Alex shook his head to clear it and turned back to the next customer. 
    But his mind immediately turned to his youth group days.  Sara Locke was one of his old youth leaders.  She had always been the watchful, quiet kind of leader who saw so much more than what you said or did.  How many times had she looked at Alex and asked him a question or challenged him to think about something that cut straight to the heart of his struggle?  And she had been so kind to both him and Annie when he was in the hospital.  Yes, she could be just the person to help them.  Maybe she could help him explain things to Annie.
    It was half an hour before Alex had a bit of a break.  He looked over, and Sara was still there, sitting at the table in the corner.  She sat properly, her back straight.  Her long, thick brown hair hung just past her shoulders, lightly streaked with grey.  She held a book in her left hand, and a journal lay on the table in front of her.  Every once in a while, she’d stop her reading and write a few lines in the journal.  As Alex approached, she paused and took another sip of her coffee.
    “Sara?”  Alex asked.  “Is it still okay if I sit down?”
    “Of course, honey.  What’s on your mind?”  She smiled gently, put down her book, and gave Alex her attention.
    Alex saw only warmth and understanding in her eyes and started sharing.  He shared in fits and starts at first, struggling to find words.  But as he warmed up, he was able to tell her everything.
    “Sara, when I was laying there in that hospital bed, I just had so much time to think.  And it seemed like I had this movie of my life playing over and over.  The question that kept coming to my head is, was it worth it?  Was what I had been doing and giving my life to worth it?”
    “I felt like I’d been spared for a reason, you know?  And I remembered that trip that we took to the Philippines, do you remember that?”
    She nodded and smiled, so he continued, “Sara, I knew on that trip that God had a calling on my life.  I knew that I was supposed to be a part of his plan to reach the world.  And I don’t know what happened.  Somehow, during college I forgot about that.  And it broke my heart to realize that nothing I’d been doing was worth anything at all.  I think I just got caught up in making myself a comfortable life.  And Annie and I, we had these dreams of having a family and a life together.  So I forgot about that calling for a while.  But in the hospital, it all came rushing back.  And I knew that something had to change.”
    “And what was that, Alex?”
    “Well, I knew that I needed to give more thought to sharing about Christ with the people around me.  And I wanted to make sure that Annie and I were living for something bigger.”
    Alex drummed his fingers on the table.
    “But things got really hard when I left the hospital.  I went back to my life–the life that didn’t include much of God except for church on Sundays–and there’s been a lot of tension since then.  And Annie, well, I haven’t been able to explain this to her.  She doesn’t understand why I’m so worried about all these people around me.  And I don’t really know what to do to help them, and I seem to be botching it all up anyway.  Should I just give up on the idea, and go back to life how it was before the accident?” Alex paused.
    Sara just took a sip of her coffee and kept silent.
    “But I really don’t think I can do that,” Alex continued.  “It’s like all along, this is who I was supposed to be.  I was supposed to care about the people around me.  I was supposed to be living with purpose and mission.  For a while, I forgot.  But I remember now, and I can’t go back.  What do I do, Sara?”
    Alex looked at Sara and then looked down again at his fingers.
    Finally, she said,  “Alex tell me this.  Do you think that your new value system is incompatible with Annie’s?”
    “I think it might be.  I don’t want that to be true, but I think it’s possible.”
    “Do you think that there’s a chance to save the relationship?”
    “I want there to be!  But I’ve been trying to explain where I’m coming from, and I’m just not getting through.”
    “Do you think she shares your Christian faith?”
    “Well, she definitely believes in God.  She grew up Christian.  I know that she thinks it’s important to go to church because we do that together every week.”
    “Yes, that’s right.  I remember now.  Hmm . . . .  Well, do you think she’d be willing to think and pray about this and maybe learn with you for a little while–about this idea of mission and ministry and how that fits into her life, or how it fits into your lives together?”
    After thinking for a minute, Alex replied, “Yeah, I think so.  She’s always wanted us to go to church and do stuff like that together.”
    “Well, what if we met together, maybe once a week, and talked about this?  We can call it a Bible study or a discussion group.  Or you guys can just come over to my house for coffee, and we can chat.  But it sounds to me like there are some deep issues here and that it would be really good if you and Annie could work them out together.  I’d be happy to help you if I can.”
    Alex leaned back into his seat, some of the tension leaving his frame. “Yeah, I think that sounds like a good idea.  I really have no idea what to do.  I don’t want to break up with Annie.  I love her.  But this is not working, and we need help.  I just don’t know how to explain anything anymore.”
    “Okay, Alex.  If Annie agrees to come, you guys just pick a night next week.  You can come to my house.  But before you come, I want you to read Luke 15 together, okay?  And see if you can determine what the point of the three stories is.”
    “Thanks so much, Sara.  I mean it.  I’d better get back to work now, though.  I’ll call you.”
    “I’ll talk with you soon.”

    As Alex got up to go back to the counter, Sara smiled to herself and then prayed quietly.  “God, please be with Alex as he speaks to Annie.  Help him to have clarity and sensitivity as he asks her to do this.” 
    She picked up her coffee again.  She was inwardly thrilled to have seen Alex here today, and she was excited to be a part of his journey.  She’d always liked Alex.  He had been the class clown of the youth group, always full of surprises and mischief.  She’d always thought of him a little like a jester.  He had that kind of goofy appearance that was made for laughter and fun.  Everyone loved him, and he’d always had the ability to get other people to do crazy stuff right along with him.  But there was more to him than that.  His questions during Bible studies had always been deep and searching.  It was clear that he had a deep desire to know and please God, and she’d always hoped that he would stay true to that. 
    And during the short time she’d sat with Annie during one of Alex’s long surgeries, she’d sensed a very sincere person.  She had no idea what Annie truly believed or what she cared about, beyond Alex, but she was hopeful.  Yes, she would be praying for Alex and Annie.

    Back at the counter, a new question was weighing on Alex’s mind.  How was he going to explain this to Annie?

First Chapter - Second Installment

Annie Russo had spent that day ferociously cleaning her apartment.  She deep-cleaned the kitchen.  She vacuumed the carpet.  She did five loads of laundry.  But no matter what she did, she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Alex and the fight they’d had that morning.  It was stupid, really.

Now she and Alex were walking through a Christmas tree farm looking for the perfect tree for her apartment, and she was determined to make the best of the evening.  She was tired of the tension and just wanted to have fun. 

Alex and Annie held hands, walking through the trees, and Annie racked her brain for neutral topics of conversation.  Alex had been unusually quiet on the way to the farm.  Usually, he was quite a chatterbox.

“So,” she said, “how was work today?”

But Alex didn’t answer quickly enough for Annie, so she dropped his hand and started running through the trees.  “Bet you can’t catch me!” she yelled, darting here and there.

She looked over her shoulder, but Alex hadn’t increased his speed.  He didn’t look like he’d even noticed she’d left.  Looking down at the fresh snow on the ground, she grinned.  She ducked behind a tree and waited until just the right moment.

Smack!  Bulls-eye!  It was a direct hit to the center of Alex’s chest.  But instead of making him lunge for the snow, as she’d expected, Alex just frowned and kept walking. 

Annie frowned.  How frustrating.  What was going on with him?

When Alex caught up with Annie again, she asked, “Alex, what is going on?  What’s wrong?”

He kept walking.

Annie stopped abruptly.

Alex kept walking.

She shouted, “Alex!  Stop.  Would you look at me?”

Finally, he slowed to a stop and turned around and glanced at her.  “Look, I had a really hard day.  I don’t want to talk about it.  Let’s just get your tree.”

Annie shook her head, her brown curls bouncing around her face.  “No, Alex.  I’d rather not.  Let’s just go home.”

Annie turned around and quickly started walking back the way they’d come.  Her shoulders were tense and a frown played around her lips.  After a minute, she heard his footsteps crunching through the snow.  In another minute, he’d caught up with her.  He gently grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop.  “Look,” he said, “I’m sorry, Annie, I am.  It’s been a rough day.  I really want to get your tree with you.  Come on.  It’ll be fun.”

Annie struggled to push down her feelings of frustration and regain her optimism.  For a moment, the frustration was winning, and she longed to make a snarky comment about how he’d already ruined their fun.  Instead, she said, “Fine, let’s go.  But if you’re not going to talk about it, at least keep your bad mood to yourself.  This is supposed to be fun.”

They walked through the pines and headed toward the firs.  Alex began to tell stories about the people he’d served in the café that day.  Soon they were laughing and talking.  Not about anything serious, of course, but at least they were talking.  Annie felt the tension slowly leaving her body.

And then they came upon a slightly lopsided fir tree.  Annie stopped in her tracks.  “Ooh, Alex.  This one’s just right!”  Alex seemed to be laughing at her choice, but he immediately bent down and began sawing at the trunk.  It took just a couple of minutes, and the tree was theirs.

They slowly made their way back to the check out, Alex carrying the tree and Annie the saw.  Annie asked quietly, “So, Alex, seriously, what’s going on with you?  Is everything okay?”

She looked over, and she noticed his jaw clench.  Uh oh.  But it was too late now.

“I had a rough conversation with Drew again.  He had a bad conversation with his parents on the phone.  I was just trying to explain to him how much God loves him.  But he wouldn’t hear it.”

“Why do you even care about that guy, Alex?  He’s so mean to you.”

Alex switched the tree from his right shoulder to his left.  “It’s really important, Annie.  I feel sure that he doesn’t really know God, and I think he’s going to die soon.  I just don’t want to see him live his eternity in hell.”

“But what’s it to you?  He’s not even your friend.”  What was this obsession with God all of a sudden?  After the accident, he’d been talking about spirituality all the time–and not just to her, but to people he knew didn’t believe the way they did.  She didn’t know why.  Church was fine for Sundays, and she was really happy that she’d found a moral guy.  But to make it the topic of every conversation seemed a little much.  And why couldn’t he just leave Drew alone?  It was obvious that he didn’t really want to hear what Alex was selling.

Alex gripped the tree a little more tightly and started walking a little more quickly.  If he hadn’t been carrying the tree, Annie would have said that he was marching.  Annie struggled to keep up with him.  Finally, he answered, “I wish I could explain this to you, but obviously I can’t.  It’s important to talk about spiritual things with other people.  God cares about Drew, and God wants him to know that.  It’s important that he make a decision to follow God before he dies.”

“I get that it’s important to you that people have their spiritual lives figured out.  But it’s not our job to figure it out for them.  Drew obviously doesn’t care about this stuff.  So why even bother?” 

Annie tried desperately to keep the cringe off her face as she approached the farm’s hut to pay for the tree.  When they got back into the car, their conversation moved on to other topics.

First Chapter - first installment

Alex Cunningham flung open the door to the Second Story Bookshop, and the jingle bells announced his presence.  He rushed up to the coffee counter, his leather jacket crinkling, and the scent of peppermint and a breeze of cold air followed along.  He approached the counter, his reddish hair glinting under the Christmas lights.

“Sorry I’m late!” he said to no one in particular.  Alex quickly shed his winter wear and went behind the counter, pulling on an apron.  “What’ll you have?” he asked the next person in line.

Alex was relieved to be at work.  The smell of coffee and the sight of shelf after shelf lined with books seemed like a haven.  He had just left his girlfriend Annie’s place, where they had been in a desperate argument, the fifth that week.  Things just hadn’t been the same since his motorcycle accident last spring. 

But it wasn’t long before the bookstore worked its calming magic, and Alex turned his mind to the task at hand.  Soon the lunch rush was over, and Alex was free to head upstairs to his office.  It was Friday, and for Alex, that meant ordering and scheduling.  Alex made his way between the tables and the stacks to the stairs.  His office was upstairs, all the way in the back, and he shared it with Drew, the book purchasing manager.

Alex had worked at Second Story since July.  Before his motorcycle accident, he was a finance guy at a small local business.  But after his month in the hospital, he was only able to work part-time.  By the time he was ready to go back to full-time, the small business had folded.  So here he was, the café manager.  Certainly not ideal, but better than nothing.

As Alex entered the office, he noticed again the chaos that was his and Drew’s office.  Neither one was super detail-oriented, and they didn’t have enough storage space.  There were boxes along the wall, and piles of paperwork on every conceivable surface.  They had a halfhearted filing system going in the big filing cabinet that stood on the wall between their desks.  But it seemed like a lost cause. 

Drew Reynolds was already in the office, hunched over his keyboard.  “Hey Drew,” said Alex. 

“Uh, hello Alex.”  Drew didn’t even look up.  He was looking especially gaunt today, and there was a yellowish tint to his skin that made his dark hair look even darker.  His Calvin Klein jeans and Abercrombie sweater hung loosely off his limbs.  Drew was always well-dressed.  But about a month ago, it had become obvious that he was a really sick guy.  His clothes had begun to just hang off him, and his ordinarily lively face took on a more and more despondent look.  Today Alex could see that Drew was failing fast.

“How are you feeling today, Drew?”  Alex hesitated to ask.  Sometimes Drew would talk to him, sometimes he’d become angry, and sometimes he’d just speak in monosyllables for days at a time.  Alex could never predict which it would be, so that made venturing to care a dangerous proposition.  But Alex thought it was worth the risk. Drew didn’t seem to have many friends, and with his recent break-up, he seemed to become more and more withdrawn from life with each passing day.  Some days, Alex felt like he might possibly be the only person who cared a little bit about Drew. 

“Well, Alex, I feel like shit, as a matter of fact.  And my *!@& father picked last night to spring another lecture on me about the status of my mortal soul when I called to talk to my mom.”

Drew paused, his face becoming redder by the second.  “The jerk was supposed to be at a church meeting, but I guess it was cancelled, so he picked up the phone instead.  I don’t know why I even bother, anyway.  Nothing good ever comes of those phone calls.”  Drew threw a challenging look over his shoulder at Alex and then turned back to his work.

“But your mom must have been glad to hear from you,” Alex said.

“I didn’t even get to talk with her.  About five minutes through my father’s diatribe, I couldn’t take it anymore and hung up.  No way was I gonna call back later to talk to her.”

Alex raised an eyebrow.  He ventured, “That’s awful, Drew.  But your dad must really love you, to talk with you about your spiritual life like that.”

“Love me!  If that’s what you call love, I don’t want any part of that.”  Drew swung his chair around to face Alex.  “He doesn’t love me.  He can’t accept me.  He can’t accept who I am.  He can’t accept that I don’t fit that perfect image he laid out for me when I was two.  All he was ever concerned about was whether all the people at church thought he was a good guy or not.  And he’s made it very clear that how I choose to live has ruined his picture-perfect family and life.  According to him, it’s amazing that the church even lets him collect offering now.”

“Well, God l—“

"And don’t even talk to me about God!” Drew’s eyes flashed.  “According to my father, God hates me as much as my father does.  I don’t want to hear about any of that B.S. today!”  With that, Drew jumped up and stalked out of the office.

Alex’s body sagged as his eyes followed Drew out the door.  He sighed.  He could not get this right.  It had been quite a struggle for him to even get to this point.  When he first started working with Drew, they’d hit it off.  They had a lot of fun together, because they shared the same sense of humor and love of mischief.  They used to set up pranks for the other staff and watch as they usually went off without a hitch.  But when Alex found out about Drew’s then-partner, Eric, well, he’d gotten really uncomfortable.  It had never occurred to him that Drew could be gay.  And what was he supposed to do about that?

Alex had grown up in a church where being gay was a “sin,” and he was pretty sure that sin was supposed to be confronted head-on.  He knew that he was supposed to do something from Matthew 18--go to Drew alone first, or something like that.  And then if Drew didn’t repent, Alex could take someone else along. 

Alex cringed when he remembered the time he’d tried to follow that plan shortly after he’d learned about Eric.  It was a month before Drew had even talked to him again.  But obviously this whole love-oriented message wasn’t getting through either.  Every time he so much as breathed a word about God, Drew blew up at him.  And from the way Drew looked today, he might not make it much longer himself.  He NEEDED to get right with God.  And Alex was sure that he should be encouraging Drew to do that.  Wasn’t that what a serious follower of God would do?

Alex slammed his fist against his desk.

Agh!  Why does everything have to be so hard? 

Seriously, following God is supposed to lead to peace and love and happiness.  But ever since I got out of the hospital, it’s been one conflict after another.  How am I ever going to keep going like this?

Alex turned back to his inventory sheets and tried to focus.  But he couldn’t quite get rid of the nagging suspicion that he was missing something–some kind of skill or piece of information that could help him reach Drew.  There must be some way, right?  

God loved Drew, of that he was sure.  God even wanted Drew to spend eternity with him.  So how was God going to get through to him?  And how was he, Alex, supposed to be a part of that?

Stories that transform

It amazes me how much stories get inside people.

I grew up reading books by Michael Phillips.  He had this whole series about a girl named Corrie Belle Hollister.  Every year or so, another book would come out.  She'd be another year older, and so would I.  Her spiritual journey affected mine.

It sounds a little scary, that some fictional character, who doesn't even have a relationship with God, who can't believe anything because she's not real, could affect my spiritual formation so much.  But there's no denying that that's what happened.  I look back on those books now and on all the books I read by Michael Phillips, and I see how much what I believe and how I live was formed by what I read.

So I wrote a book.  It could have been a nonfiction book.  My community has a lot to say about emotional barriers to faith and how to engage those in a natural way.  But as we talked about how to communicate the ideas, we realized that the only way the ideas would make sense is if they were played out in people's lives.  Ideas in the abstract are just ideas.  Ideas that are modeled, even by fictional character, have the potential to change us if we let them.

And I've had a small group of people reading and giving feedback.  And every single one of them said that the book was transformative in their lives.  That's the power of story.  And I'm amazed.  As a piece of literature, the book leaves a lot to be desired.  I could spend another 2-3 years developing the characters and the setting and making the point of the book more subtle.  But as a story that has the potential to model and transform, it's good enough--it does its job.

So it's on its way.  This coming week I'll finalize all the details, and next week it will be sent to the printer.  Shortly after that, it'll be available for purchase on Amazon.  It seems unreal, this journey of writing.  I think I thought that some day I would be a writer.  I just didn't expect it to happen quite this soon.

Second Story - Coming soon!

cover design by Dave Malec

So... I'm a little excited about this.  I just got the cover back from the designer for the book.  Soon the whole thing will be off to the printer.  I'm expecting the book will be available in January.  Click here for a brief synopsis of the book.